I write what I want. I write what I feel. Reality bites me when I was flying in my dream.
I was dreaming yesterday. Stuck on mall. Like a Triwizard, when Harry stuck on maze (me, on mall -_-").
Reality bites me out, and I’m still an half on concious.
Dear God,
I don’t know how to do.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know where I should go.
I just wanna let it go.
Let me face up and fight as possible I can
It may seems heartless,
but I can’t stand with this sadness anymore.
Let me bring the truth,
and put his experience lies within me.
Without any sadness anymore.
Coz I don’t want lying down in the same holes.
My stupidness. My cowardness. My negative thinking that "I’m a loser"
Coz I just wanna be "a survivor"…
Again, I hurt myself.
I place it on darkness.
No, I don’t fill it with shadow and poison anymore.
I can’t think clearly.
I can’t choose one of my choices.
Coz I don’t know anything.
Coz I don’t want to hurt myself anymore.
Coz I need more than oxygen,
when I face my biggest problems.
My fear, I can’t face it.
Or I don’t want to face it.
Controlling myself. Be tough.
Poem(?)
Sweet and bitter. Come and go. Spin me to the fly.
“Fly me to the moon.
Let me know what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars..”
(Fly Me to The Moon, Frank Sinatra)
Difference can’t difuse in, but it can turnin one.. just like a bowl of cendol 
U can dance beneath the blue sky…
U can dance in the raining day…
U can dance in a silent forest…
U can dance in the beach when sunset…
I don’t want to just breath or staying alive without purpose and reason.
I live in this world coz I have the reason and purpose.
Altough I often thinking about death, I rarely think to doing suicide.
Coz I want to enjoy my life actually.
