On My Swing...

capuccino — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:15:28 +0000

I write what I want. I write what I feel. Reality bites me when I was flying in my dream.
I was dreaming yesterday. Stuck on mall. Like a Triwizard, when Harry stuck on maze (me, on mall -_-").
Reality bites me out, and I’m still an half on concious.
Dear God,
I don’t know how to do.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know where I should go.

capuccino — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:14:27 +0000

I just wanna let it go.
Let me face up and fight as possible I can
It may seems heartless,
but I can’t stand with this sadness anymore.
Let me bring the truth,
and put his experience lies within me.
Without any sadness anymore.
Coz I don’t want lying down in the same holes.
My stupidness. My cowardness. My negative thinking that "I’m a loser"
Coz I just wanna be "a survivor"…

capuccino — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:13:43 +0000

Again, I hurt myself.
I place it on darkness.
No, I don’t fill it with shadow and poison anymore.
I can’t think clearly.
I can’t choose one of my choices.
Coz I don’t know anything.
Coz I don’t want to hurt myself anymore.
Coz I need more than oxygen,
when I face my biggest problems.
My fear, I can’t face it.
Or I don’t want to face it.
Controlling myself. Be tough.

Poem(?)

capuccino — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:10:42 +0000

Sweet and bitter. Come and go. Spin me to the fly.
“Fly me to the moon.
Let me know what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars..”
(Fly Me to The Moon, Frank Sinatra)

Difference can’t difuse in, but it can turnin one.. just like a bowl of cendol
U can dance beneath the blue sky…
U can dance in the raining day…
U can dance in a silent forest…
U can dance in the beach when sunset…
I don’t want to just breath or staying alive without purpose and reason.
I live in this world coz I have the reason and purpose.
Altough I often thinking about death, I rarely think to doing suicide.
Coz I want to enjoy my life actually.

Valentine Day

capuccino — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 14:46:12 +0000

Pink is everywhere, and so does heart-shape. I don’t have any plan for Valentine Day (VD), anyway. I won’t make a heart-shaped chocolate or cake, or giving something like the last year. Let it be like everyday. But inside, I’m still waiting for VD card from someone *blush*. FYI, I miss him and I love him everyday, not only on VD. No more any romance attractions in public, with so much PINK outside. Anyway, yesterday I read “There’s Something About Alto”. Haa… I can felt butterflies on my stomache *cough* I remember my friend’s comment : It’s so over romantic!
NB : I’ve written this post on February, last year. Rite now, I don’t wait for anything. Even when the flowers and heart-shapes is in the air. Whatever.

capuccino — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 11:25:25 +0000

I am here.

Do you remember?

I’m waiting for you

Do you remember?

Hear my song, dear

Whispering a thousand love

My Life

capuccino — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:26:17 +0000

My life is just like a complicated drama, tragedy, comedy, and it called my own indie film, written by myself, unexpected ending. Sad, happy, or both of them, or neither. I don’t know. I don’t know where I will die, on loneliness, darkness or crowded place, full of colour, laugh, and smile inside.

Why I often ask myself, “Why you didn’t do that…?” or “Actually you’ve better if you do that…”?
It returns on guilty, pain, and pressure.
It kicks me more and more.
I have a light in my heart,
but it usually speak loudly and I often ignore it.

Time is Running Out

capuccino — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 14:27:01 +0000

I’m tired and sleepy, but I can’t stop thinking about myself, what must I do, how they are, etc.

Time’s running fastly, when I spending my time with my friends(s), where I can be myself, trully.

Time’s running slowly, when I wasting my time with something I dislike or someone else that can’t make me comfort, when I’m in bad mood.

Time is money, depend on how I use it to be.

Again, I miss my beloved people, people who can make me feeling comfort as myself…

How are you all? I miss U much…

Actually, I should be thankful to Allah SWT, eventhough my love story isn’t like a fairytale, I’m still having my beloved family and friends, who really know me, I love them so much…

Beauty

capuccino — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 03:30:08 +0000

"Trying to find and define our own definition about beauty not only gives us a lot of new tought about many things : about how sometimes the way we think about beauty is so cliche and typical, how sometimes we forget to seek beauty from something unsoen, forget to seek it through feeling and emotion, how our mind is so controlled by the media to definewhat is beauty, and so on. But the most important things, it left us with the big question : Am I beautiful? Am I considered beautiful? Well, are you? And do you think people would think that you are beautiful? And… does it still mater?"

(quote from Beauty Case, Icha R.- nice book, anyway)

Why…?

capuccino — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:02:40 +0000

I promised not to crying for you anymore

Yes, I did.

But my heart now crying.

And I don’t know why.